The 5 Love Languages of Children: How to Help Your Child Feel Truly Loved

As parents, caregivers, and educators, we all want children to feel safe, valued, and deeply loved. But did you know that each child experiences love differently? Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell identified five "love languages"—unique ways that people give and receive love. Understanding your child’s love language can strengthen your connection and support their emotional well-being.

1. Words of Affirmation

Children who thrive on words of affirmation feel most loved when they receive encouraging words, praise, and positive reinforcement. Simple phrases like "I’m proud of you," "You are so kind," or "I love the way you helped your friend today!" can boost their confidence and self-esteem.

How to Show Love:

• Praise their efforts, not just their achievements.

• Leave little notes of encouragement in their lunchbox.

• Say “I love you” often and mean it.

2. Physical Touch

Some children feel most secure and loved through physical touch—hugs, cuddles, high-fives, or even a gentle pat on the back. Physical affection provides them with a sense of safety and warmth.

How to Show Love:

• Give morning and bedtime hugs.

• Hold their hand while walking together.

• Create fun, affectionate rituals like a secret handshake.

3. Quality Time

For children whose love language is quality time, undivided attention is key. They feel most cherished when you spend meaningful time with them, free from distractions.

How to Show Love:

• Have one-on-one time, even if just 10 minutes a day.

• Plan special activities, like a nature walk or baking together.

• Make eye contact and truly listen when they speak.

4. Gifts

Some children feel loved when they receive thoughtful gifts—not necessarily expensive ones, but items that show you were thinking of them. The key is meaning, not materialism.

How to Show Love:

• Surprise them with their favorite snack or a handmade card.

• Celebrate milestones with small, meaningful tokens.

• Let them pick out a special book or toy for a special occasion.

5. Acts of Service

For some children, acts of service—like helping with their school project, fixing a broken toy, or making their favorite meal—show deep love and care.

How to Show Love:

• Help them with a task they’re struggling with.

• Cook their favorite meal together.

• Assist in organizing their room or space when they feel overwhelmed.

Discovering Your Child’s Love Language

Not sure which love language your child connects with most? Observe how they express love to others! Do they frequently offer hugs? They may need physical touch. Do they get excited over small surprises? Gifts might be their love language. Paying attention to their actions can give you clues!

Why Understanding Love Languages Matters

Recognizing and speaking your child’s love language fosters a strong emotional foundation, enhances communication, and helps them feel truly seen and valued. When children feel loved in a way that resonates with them, they develop confidence, emotional resilience, and positive relationships.

Which love language do you think your child connects with the most? Try a few different ways to express love this week and see how they respond!

Looking for More Ways to Connect? At Hank & Bee, we believe in creating inclusive, heartwarming stories that help children feel seen and accepted. Check out our book and free downloadable resources at www.kateryan.com.au